What about when you aren't sure or the answer is no?

  • Just because the moment feels "right" doesn't mean you are required to give consent.

  • You should not feel forced to do anything. You are not obligated to do any action to any person.

  • When someone says no, you say “that’s completely okay, thank you for trusting me and telling me you’re not comfortable.” This next part is critical - don’t push them about it. Saying no can be really hard, so supporting people when they say no is important. 

  • Keep talking with them, keep doing whatever else y’all were doing that is comfortable for everyone, and be happy they trust you enough to tell you their boundaries.

  • If someone says no then don’t feel bad, just move on and let it be.

  • Always remember that a no is not an offense to you, it’s about personal comfort and it’s a huge show of trust.

  • Can use safe words or say something like "Can we go back to what we were doing before?" "Can we take a break?" "I'm not ready for that yet."

  • Saying "no" to your partner can be hard and hurt them in the moment, but saying "yes" to something you do not want to do, will hurt you for longer.